You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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