No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
