sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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