i may or may not be watching the land before time
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
