i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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