totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
