I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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