We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
