we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize