I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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