I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
