First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
