honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
