she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We need to get me chipped asap
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
