1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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