Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
