So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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