I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
