i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
