Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
