I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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