Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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