Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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