You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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