Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize