I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Michael Bay diarrhea
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
