You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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