Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
