We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
