Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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