Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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