Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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