Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize