I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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