I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
