We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
