it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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