i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
