So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize