hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
