I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
