Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
