So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
