If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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