alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
