woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
