Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
