lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The air taste purple.
Randomize
