So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize