Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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