can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
