is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
