She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
