problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
