I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
