well you can't waste a boner
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
