its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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