Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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