You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
they need to just BURY HIM!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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