I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize