Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
